Sitting in the Sadness

Do you ever feel like wallowing in self-pity a little?

Resting with your misery awhile?

Sitting in the sadness?

Focusing on your current unpleasant circumstance (and nothing else)?

Fixing your eyes on your loss?

Holding on to those unpleasant feelings? 

Of resentment?

Of inadequacy?

Or maybe for you, it’s self-loathing or overwhelm?

Sometimes, I do.

And, lately, I’ve been trying to figure out what this is all about … 

What’s so appealing about misery? Sadness? Losses? 

I know I can “fix” feelings of boredom … or sadness … or worry … (at least temporarily)

with a brisk walk

or by practicing gratitude

getting some fresh air

or just taking a break

But sometimes, I JUST DON’T WANT TO …

It seems, at times, I just want to sit with it for awhile … 

Acknowledge it a bit … 

FEEL it …

Maybe even share it …

But WHY?

WHY wallow? 

Why sit with that misery?

With that worry?

With that sadness?

Why?

Well …  

pretending these feelings don’t exist isn’t healthy … 

burying (or denying) them can lead to some questionable choices … 

and when we don’t acknowledge them, they “fester” and creep out when we’re least expecting it …  

Trials, challenges, and sorrows are inevitable human experiences … they’re actually quite “normal” … 

yet we bury them … 

we put on a brave face … 

and we pretend everything is fine …

But sometimes, we’re not FINE … 

in fact, sometimes, we’re barely holding it together … 

we’re on the verge of tears … 

our smiles are forced … 

and we can’t see the light … 

Sometimes, we’re simply not fine … 

But we live in a world where it’s NOT fine to be NOT fine … 

so we hide

we pretend

we cower

we sugarcoat

And we sit in our sadness ALONE … 

But what would happen if we shared our struggles … openly … candidly … what if we were fully honest? 

With ourselves?

With others? 

NOT EVERYONE … just SOMEONE … even just ONE someone … 

What if we were FULLY KNOWN … struggles and all … 

AND still LOVED?

What if in THE SHARING … we bonded with someone in a super special way? What if we started to heal? What if we KNEW, even for a minute, that WE ARE NOT ALONE.

What if ???

What if in the ACKNOWLEDGING of that unpleasant emotion … we started working through it? We have to NAME IT before we can work on it (see my earlier post about Resentment) … 

What if SITTING IN IT for at least a little while gave credit where it was due (I am ALWAYS impressed with people’s ability to just carry on “business as usual” despite the challenges they are facing)? 

What if it fostered COMPASSION and UNDERSTANDING for another human being?

What if it made way for GRATITUDE?

What if RESTING IN IT for a minute or two actually spurred us into action? 

What if it helped us build the life we ACTUALLY want?

What if it helped us show our kids “the way”?

What if it taught us something? Or opened a new pathway? 

What if it forced us to get creative? To design (or try) something new?

What if it helped us to teach and inspire others? To fulfill our life’s purpose … 

What if we became “the light” for someone else?

What if …