A Million Questions

School starts for me (the online teacher) in 28 days … the kids start a week later … 

To be truly honest, I’m a little sick about the whole thing … 

I have a million questions … a ton of concerns … and no answers … I feel like planning anything is incredibly challenging (if not impossible) … 

Should I send my middle daughter back to school? She likes school … the way it was, at least …

Should I send my three-year-old to playschool this year? Or should I just wait another year? But what about that essential early years learning she would miss out on? I KNOW I can’t give her that here … and our preschool teacher is AMAZING! 

What will school look like for my children? Will there be masks? Restricted access to friends? Restricted access for parents? What will recess look like? And lunch time? 

What about daycare for my youngest? Is that really a good idea?

But they can’t ALL be at home again, right? 

It’s just too much for one person … remember, my husband works … A LOT … 

How would I ever homeschool two children WELL (with a preschooler in tow) while working full-time?

Should I change my job in some way? 

I don’t really want to … 

I love my work … I love the privilege of working from home … I love the people I meet and the families I support along the way … I love contributing to something “bigger than me” … I sacrificed a lot to get this position … and I do not want to throw it away now …

Maybe I should get someone to come in? A babysitter? Or maybe a live-in nanny?

But who? 

Where do I even start the search?

How do I find the right person? How would I KNOW they’re being appropriately cautious? Following “the rules”? 

And what about friends? My kids NEED time with friends? How can we continue to do that safely, especially once their peers in school and the weather turns colder?

Will there be extra-curricular this year?

Is THAT a good idea?

What about my essential mission of “gathering the people” … namely, my students and their families … how will we get together on a regular basis? What about our Learning Camps? And field trips? The stuff that makes learning and growing together fun? 

I share this today because I suspect many of you are feeling the same way … your heart is heavy with questions and concerns about the upcoming school year … I’m a teacher (albeit an ONLINE teacher) and I’m a mom (my girls are now 9, 7, and almost 3) … and I’m struggling with the decisions that lie ahead … 

Instead of being excited for “back to school” … new supplies, new clothes, new teachers, and seeing friends again … there’s a cloud hanging over it all … there are TOO MANY unknowns … 

I DO NOT want to live in fear … 

But I do want to be appropriately cautious … 

If there are steps that I can take to prevent the spread of COVID-19, I want to take those steps … 

This isn’t “just a virus” … it is impacting human life in a significant way … thankfully, many, many people have recovered from the virus, but it is stealing lives (or quality of life) … close to 9,000 dead now in Canada … and THAT’s significant … that’s someone’s mom, someone’s dad or grandma or grandpa, someone’s aunt or uncle or brother or sister … SOMEONE is hurting … SOMEONE’S heart is breaking … SOMEONE is overcome with loneliness … because they’ve lost SOMEONE to COVID-19, a seemingly highly contagious virus …

I desperately want to do MY PART to prevent the spread of this disease … 

But l also want to make the best decision(s) I can for my children and our family under the circumstances … 

I just wish I knew what that was right now …