I’m Not Ready

It’s been 70 days since schools announced their closure … the day I panicked a little knowing that life as I knew it … was OVER … I’ve heard myself describe that day many times as “a shedding” of an old life … a “molting” of sorts … 

Now, it’s been 70 days of doing things differently …

• ordering online only (but with very long shipping times sometimes)
  
• phoning in pharmacy and hardware store orders
• texting in sandal orders
• picking up items from the front door of a store
• calling a store to tell them you’re ready for pickup
• emailing grocery orders for back door pickup
• reading/listening to digital books ONLY (libraries have been closed for months)
• listening to the same audio CDs over and over and over again

But also,

softer schedules
longer evenings

later wake ups
slower starts to the day
the snow has melted
the sun is warmer
the grass is green
winter clothes have been stored away
the trees are leafing out
gardens have been worked and planted (almost)
kayaks have made their annual debut
attempts to stay connected with friends have waned

evening walks are the new norm
decks have been painted
flower pots are getting filled
many, many s’mores have been eaten around the campfire
my children have played 

and played 

and played … but only with each other …
sisters have come to love one another more than ever before

As the world around us changes and evolves, we realize we have too …

I like this slower pace.
I like the predictability of our routine.
I like how each day is similar to the one before … our weekdays are rhythmic, our weekends are slightly more adventurous …

I like how we’re content with so little … 

a walk around the trail, 

a bike ride, 

a freshly painted swing set and some bungee cords to make a zip line, 

a front yard relay race, 

a wagon “train,”

running barefoot in the garden, 

a bounce on the trampoline, 

a few new kittens to play with …

I like how we don’t really have any plans … and we can just go with the flow …

I like “the quiet” …

I like having a bit of time to just stay on top of things in the house …

I like taking care of my plants …

or watching a show with the kids …

or just reading a book to a toddler …

I like doing an impromptu craft …

or painting a few rocks together …

I can snuggle a baby after her nap …

or sit and enjoy snacks and meals with the kids

We can linger longer at grandparents’ houses …
one last game of fetch with the dog,
put some new soil in some planters,
or run an extra lap around the house.

We can linger longer at “the park” … study a bird’s nest … or play another game of tag … 

While the world is slowly getting back to “normal” … I don’t think I am ready …

I’m not ready for …
busier
hairier
or tighter “schedules.”

I’m not ready for play dates
though a walk or bike ride with some friends might be nice

I’m not ready for “commitments”
though a kayak ride with a friend might be nice 

I’m not ready …

So for now, we’ll continue with our “new normal” …
visiting with grandparents ONLY

Maybe slowly adding in a few simple outside adventures with friends who’ve been limiting contact with others too …

This isn’t about fear of a virus unknown …

This is about serving the ones we love the most … with “short-term” sacrifices …

This is about preserving my time with my little family … and their time with grandparents …

This is about enjoying “the pause” and savouring the (daily, if not hourly) sweet, sweet moments with my children …

This is about the preservation of a “simple life” … a slow life … 

I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready for “normal” …