I am back again. Thanksgiving was a great break from the “regular routine” but it was also very tiring. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE visiting family but home is always soooo nice.
Over the weekend I was able to visit with many family members. As a collective, we noticed how great (and busy and noisy) it was that our families are growing! It gives me a new perspective on Baby Girl when I am able to sit her next to cousins of varying ages. She has come so far from the crying/sleeping baby but she still has such a long way to grow. It was this visit that has prompted me to take a closer look at Baby Girl the last few days and ask the question, “Who are you going to be?”
Baby Girl is growing…and FAST. Every day is something new. It is a rare moment when she doesn’t put a smile on my face. Whether it be her constant babbling, her novice “yoga” moves, or watching her learn new things, I am in awe whenever I watch Baby Girl. Lately, I have had a question lingering in the back of my mind as I watch her toddle around the house. “Who are you going to be?”
Right now, Baby Girl is a blank slate. I still have all sorts of hopes and dreams and aspirations about who she will be and what she will accomplish. But will she be or do any of it? My guess is probably not. Baby Girl is going to become whoever she is. I guess I’m struggling with whether or not I have any role to play in it at all. It is clear that she is very definitely her own little person, but I want her to be my little person as well.
I guess this all stems from a lack of confidence in parenting. Am I doing it right? Do I comfort her enough? Am I teaching her good habits? Will she be confident because I have built up her self-esteem?
Again, I’m in awe. I can worry and I can hope. I can look at her cute little face and picture who she will become. Mostly, I just have to wait. She is growing into the woman she will be. Someday she will show me who she knows she is, but I will always know her as my Baby Girl.