The Big 3-0

Yep, it’s just about here. Just a few days left of being a twenty-something. A ‘moment’ like this warrants some reflection. Am I where I thought I would be at 30? What have I accomplished? Do I have any regrets? What is my current reality at 30?

Well, you’re probably starting to gain a bit of an understanding of my current reality … stay-at-home mother of two young children. Period. Some days I barely have time to get dressed (and that means swapping my fleece pajamas for some yoga pants). Most days, I don’t style my hair (which is probably much shorter than I thought it would be at 30) or put on any makeup. I do make a conscious effort to get my teeth brushed every morning though. My days (and nights) are spent meeting the incessant demands of a four month old (with reflux issues) and a two year + 8 month old. Oh, and every now and then, I try to etch out a bit of time for me (like writing for this blog or walking on the treadmill) and a bit of time for my husband. 
In many ways, I guess I am where I hoped to be (though I probably glorified motherhood a touch, because let’s face it, there are some unpleasant realities that I was unaware of). In addition to my two beautiful daughters, I have a wonderful husband (whose biggest flaw is working too damn hard). We’ve spent the last 11 years, 8 months together (just about four years as husband and wife). I suspect that life with our girls is just going to keep getting better and better. I have a lovely home (I actually used to drive by this very place as a teenager and secretly wish I would have a home just like this one day). I have my “dream job” back in my hometown – teaching English Language Arts, Creative Writing, and Communications to high school kids. I live close to my parents, my grandmas, and my in-laws.
It seems I have accomplished a great deal. A bachelor of education, a masters in educational administration, a husband, a home, two daughters, and a full time job. 
As for regrets … I try not to dwell on regrets, so perhaps I will change the question. What do I want to improve in my life in the years ahead? Well, to begin with, I want ‘stronger’ (not sure that’s the right word) friendships.  I want to take better care of myself (body, mind, and spirit). I want to be a ‘thoughtful’ parent, meaning I don’t succumb to parent (peer) pressure. I want to give my children experiences. I want to continuously make decisions (financial and otherwise) that will enrich our lives in some way. I want to help others. 
The thing I am struggling with the most … 
Well, this may sound a bit silly, but I am a little bothered that my “cool” factor will be totally non-existent once I hit the big 3-0. One cannot be “cool” and 30.
Now, if I am being honest with myself, my “cool” factor hit the road when I became pregnant with my first child. One cannot be cool and pregnant. Before I became pregnant, I was a young, fun teacher who often got mistaken for a high school student. I had long hair, nice clothes, a brand new SUV, and time to spend on myself. Weekends were full of friends and fun.

In recent times, it seems I have traded in “cool” to be Little M and Big M’s mommy. Let’s face it, moms aren’t generally that cool. BUT, I think there are two little girls who think I am just about the best thing on this earth. No one can compete with a mommy. AND THE BEST THING ABOUT IT … these two little girls could care less about my hair, my clothes, my makeup, or anything else I thought (or think) makes one “cool.” They also don’t care that I am not a twenty-something anymore. And really, they’re just about the only thing in my world that really matters. 

In a few days, I will be 30, whether I like it or not. I think I’ve decided to like it. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s